The Freaky Darlings

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.”
Dr Seuss 1904 – 1991

Snozwod and Fleebag

A Snozwad and a Fleebag met by the Sea.
They were married at 12 and devoured each other by 3.

The Snozwad ate the Fleebag in one large bite, but
the Fleebag went in with a rather good fight.

Snozwad’s stomach moaned and growled,
He clenched his teeth while Fleebag howled.

Through his intestines and out through the but,
the Fleebag climbed free from her precarious rut.

In a pile of guts, she wiped the puss from her nose,
And without thinking twice bit off Snozwad’s toes.

The green goo gushed and quickly dripped down her chin.
It appeared as if Fleebag was going to win.

He gnawed and slapped, he clawed and swung,
Fleebag chewed off Snozwad’s tongue.

It lay on the ground and wriggled about, Fleebag
Had won there was no doubt.

But then…

His tongue grew back, his toes sprouted new,
Fleebag stood up, she did not know what to do.

Snozwad jumped to the air and landed with fury,
Fleebag turned for the shore and took off in a hurry.

But he was upon her, and severed her head, Snozwad
looked at his bride and thought for sure she was dead.

Out of her neck, something grew, two heads, an arm
and a large leather shoe.

With the shoe and her new arm, she dove in for attack,
Snozwad could do nothing, he was taken aback.

I thought she was mush Snozwad said with surprise,
A fearful look glazed over his eyes.

He knew he was done, Fleebag would not back down,
She ripped both arms from his sockets, and screamed,
“Get of town!”.

He ran down the beach and did not turn around,
not until he heard a most discomforting sound.

She cried and she wailed, she sobbed and she teared.
Her wedding day makeup was seriously smeared.

Snozwad came back, he was feeling real blue,
He sat down on the beach and said, “Fleebag I love you.”

With her head in his hand, she stood up from the sand,
and looked down at her gleaming gold wedding band.

They hugged and they kissed, they growled and the hissed.
Fleebag and Snozwad were no longer pissed.

With teary eyes, “Do you still love me?” she said.
“Even with a shoe growing out of my head?”

“Putting aside for a moment, I wished you were dead,
nothing makes me happier then the fact that we wed.”